Pros:
Good Looking Design and Packaging
Cons:
Terrible Emulations of the Games
Ewwww.... Not Atari
One word: WOW.
And I mean a “WOW” in the most negative fashion humanly conceivable. The Atari Flashback is an elaborate “Plug N Play” system that resembles a miniature Atari 7800 and offers folks looking for a little nostalgia 20 Atari games to help relive the 80’s. For 40 bucks (which is criminal considering the lack of quality of this product) you get fourteen 2600 themed games, a never released 2600 prototype, and five 7800 themed games. The selection of 2600 games is for the most part appropriate, but one has to wonder about the selection of 7800 games. One also has to wonder why they went with an Atari 7800 inspired theme since most people polled on the street couldn’t differentiate a 7800 from an Intellivison or the George Foreman Grill. Since Atari dropped the ball on the Atari 7800 in 1984 by ruining a great idea with incompetence, my 9th grade English teacher would possibly call this “foreshadowing” for the Flashback.
I just want to make one point: these are NOT the games you remember playing as a kid. These are poorly emulated games that are glitchy, full of bugs, and at times the gameplay is radically different. This is much like Rich Little’s impression of Johnny Carson: just a bad impression that kind of makes you feel bad for the impersonator. After an hour or so of horsing around with the Flashback, here is what I discovered:
2600 Games:
Battlezone missed the mark
Adventure: Although it was blinking like crazy and had vertical lines that weren’t supposed to be there, I was having a decent time with this classic until a glitch made the black key disappear completely from the game. Veterans of the game will say “AHA! The bat stole it, you dolt!” But this was on the random version of the game and I had already locked the bat in the black castle. So who is the dolt, now?
Air Sea Battle: I played this two player game by myself, but it is so boring I couldn’t imagine two people caring to play this anyway. This was one of the poor choices from the 2600 library.
Battlezone: I always preferred the 2600 version of this game over the arcade, so this was the first game I tested. I was shocked to find out that the graphics were horrible compared to the Atari 2600 original. Are you hearing me folks? The graphics were horrible compared to a 2600 version of a game. Amazing. The original did a good job of terrain scaling, this version does not. Couple that with the fact that this version is impossibly difficult even from the first tank, and you have a real stinker on your hands.
Breakout: Why not have Super Breakout here instead? I dunno, but this was the next questionable selection in the Flashback. Originally designed for a paddle controller, this game is unbearable with a joystick and pretty boring compared to games like Blockbuster Deluxe I can play on my cell phone. That is not good.
Looks good, plays like poo... the Flashback proudly introduces Crystal Castles
Canyon Bomber: See Air Sea Battle… apply the applicable parts. Discard the rest.
Crystal Castles: People have flamed the 2600 version of this game, but I was always impressed with all the levels it had and I enjoyed it as a kid. The graphics of this emulation are not bad, in fact they may be just as good as the original 2600 game, but the controls and collision detection are terrible. Ramming the control stick back and forth over a dash while being chased by bees wondering why Bently Bear isn’t picking the damn dash up is not fun in my book. In fact, I think hell will be a lot like this.
Gravitar: I always hated this game. It’s like being in a car on ice without a properly functioning steering wheel or brakes. Pass.
Haunted House: Nothing was really wrong with this version that I could remember… except the fact that it is not much fun.
Millipede: Here’s where we realize the first gyp in the game. The box boasts 20 games, but Millipede and Centipede are very similar and let’s be honest… it’s really the same game. Although the 2600 Millipede is technically a sequel, it is not as good as the 7800 version of Centipede. The controls in this game are not as tough to deal with as Flashback’s version of Centipede, however, one has to wonder why a large portion of the screen is discolored.
Saboteur: I found this prototype interesting, and I actually played it for quite some time. The problem is that I really couldn’t figure out what to do, even with the instruction booklet’s help. The on screen prompts were more confusing than helpful. If you can figure out how to play it, you may love it.
Saboteur is a weird game. Somebody hold me.
Sky Diver: Why?
Solaris: I wasted 500 hours of my youth trying to beat Solaris… and sadly to no avail. This has to be one of the hardest games of all time. Perhaps I will with this, because it’s not really the same game at all. I won’t go into all of the nuances here, but the enemies do not behave or look the same as in the original version. Graphically, the game is similar to Battlezone’s problem in that distance is very hard to judge here… and that’s crucial when playing Solaris. Also missing is the nice G-Force pull on the ship when warping.
Sprintmaster: The 2600 version of this game was terrible, and this fares no better. Pass.
Warlords: This game was actually a lot of fun, and it is easily the best game on the system. I love the original and the Flashback emulates this War-Pong game nicely. I like how you can start playing a one-on-three battle royal with by simply pressing the fire button.
Yar’s Revenge: Yar’s Revenge is one of the most heralded games in the 2600 library, so it’s a good thing that this emulation wasn’t jacked up too much. At the point when I played this game, its peculiarities seemed minor compared to the other bastard emulations on the Flashback, so they didn’t bother me so badly. The main issue here (besides the terrible audio) is that when the Yar is eating on the orange shield, it can go straight through it sometimes. Not much of a shield then, is it? And besides the fact that the shield moves up and down too far, this is probably one of the truest games that you would care to play in this compilation.
Warlords is easily the best translation on the Flashback. Too bad most people somehow have three copies of this game
7800 Games:
Asteroids: I never knew why people still regard this game as great fun, because to me it was too much work to enjoy. Regardless, the 7800 version of this game is a good one because of the options to play alternating, competitive, or team two player modes. This game is the 2nd best of the 7800 titles, but the Asteroid faithful will hate it because of its total void of inertia. Yep, you can simply press up on the joystick and then release it to stop on a dime. No floating or drifting, which is what Asteroids is really about. Here you have super duper anti-lock brakes. Power locks and leather seats optional.
Centipede: This is the best 7800 game because it looks so good and it also has the same great multiplayer options mentioned above. The problem with Centipede is that the controls are so tight, it is hard to move the archer when you need to. If you can get used to wrestling the little joystick, you may have some fun with this one.
Desert Falcon: This one sucks so bad it makes me sad. I personally like the 7800 version of this “Zaxxon in the sand" game, but the Flashback version makes playing this unbearable. The characters blink so badly I think I developed epilepsy. This is unusable by human beings.
The best 7800 game is Centipede, but that's not saying much
Food Fight: This 7800 classic is marred by “who gives a $#$% programming” as well. Not only is this version ugly, the collision detection in this game is manic. The chefs must have been cooking with onions, because they don’t even have to touch Charley Chuck to kill him, apparently their breath can. Throwing watermelons is also quite different in this version, seriously affecting point gathering strategies in those stages.
Planet Smashers: Now, here is a weird 7800 game to include in a compilation. This 2D shooter fails to impress many anyway, but there are several strategies in this game that make it unique. However, this emulation cares nothing for strategies, because it gives you shields when you don’t need them, and it never gives you enough cloaking devices to beat the mini-bosses. Also, I thought the graphics here were pretty close to the original until I saw the first mini-boss. Man, they didn’t even try.
Atari Flashback Pros:
• Simplified game starts… press a button and start playing the standard game. No select buttons and reset buttons to be confused about if you don't want to fool with minor variations of the game.
• Pause buttons rule.
• Awesome packaging, great collector’s item.
• Great concept of mixing games from different systems. Maybe the Flashback 3 will have other Atari systems included!
Atari Flashback Cons:
• Terrible emulations of games. Most games have graphic, audio, gameplay flaws or variances.
• Questionable line-up of Atari 7800 games.
• Most people hate 7800 controllers, and these smaller versions are even worse on hands.
• People will not believe how bad this thing is, even if they read this.
• Then most people will think after they play it, “Man these games suck, I can’t believe I thought these were fun when I was a kid.”
So, in conclusion, buy this only as a collectable at a cheap price. These are not Atari games, these are imposters. I’m not grading the product, but if I did, I would give it the lowest score possible. Oh…. OK, I will grade it:
